Meanwhile, back in Cuddleland, two of the Royals were planning a rescue.

::GoodWitch prepares the Pie*O*Matic for the ULTIMATE pie attack::

"I'll just set the homing device at Princess Tiernan's bio-rhythmic genetic readings (all cuddlers have their bio-rhythmic genes programmed into the CuddleLand registry in case there is an unforseen tragedy) into the computerized Pie*O*Matic. It will seek out Tiernan's gene chemistry and the special pies will project towards her location." said Princess Rita the GoodWitch to herself. "Knowing the elf weaknesses, the massive cluster of elves will find the Princess and save her. What is my special pie? hee hee Of course ... it's P*zza Pie. It will drop on our princess' location and emit a loud blast which says the MAGIC WORD upon inpact...."

HuggyBear, AKA Sir Timothy Braveheart gets his DNA-seeking pie cannon ready to assist the Good Witch. He sets the dial for Princess Tiernan and pushes the slid to the middle. "About 300-400 should do the trick," he thinks to himself. "Now to get those pies from Princess Rita."

Once the dust settles, Princess Rita will ride to the area and observe. The elves will protect their own. That's one thing GoodWitch is absolutely sure of.

Sir Timothy stays behind, ready at the pie cannon, in order to launch a second volley to where the Good Witch directs if necessary.

"Patience, My dear HuggyBear," said the Goodwitch. "There is a sign of something happening over to the north. I believe .... OHMYGOD..... Just wait Sir Timothy. I'll get back to you shortly!" And with that, the GoodWitch took off on her turbo-powered broom!

A dream away on an endless rainbow sea, a certain elven Princess was tied and gagged in a chair, and glaring balefully at a highly amused Pirate Captain. "Gentleman" Dave Scarlett stood with hands on hips and grinned insolently at the irate Royal.

"rrrrrmmmmPHHhmmmmPHHHH!" exclaimed Princess Tiernan

"Now, why would I be wanting to do THAT?" replied the amused Pirate.

"GFFFMPPHHHHMMMMMMPPPHHHHFFF!"

"I'm not THAT flexible, my royal elven lady!"

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGHMPH!"

"Gentleman" Dave looked at the elven princess with renewed interest. "You KNOW," he began, "That actually might not be a ..."

Just then he was interrupted by a *THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP* followed a second later by a furious banging at his door. He strode to the door and flung it open, preparing a tongue lashing for whoever was fool enough to disturb him. There stood his first mate, Simon Tar. Simon was smeared all over with red and his hair was standing straight up on end.

"'ERE, WHAT?" shouted "Gentleman" Dave. "Have we been boarded? Get yourself to the 'bones, man!"

"This isn't blood, you dotty great dolt!" shouted Simon Tar (the only man jack on the entire crew with the nerve to speak so to "Gentleman" Dave Scarlett!) It's tomato sauce!"

Ignoring the muffled and increasingly frantic noises from the princess, the Dread Captain continued to stare at his mate. "Tomato sauce?"

"Aye, Cap'n. We were standing there on deck...."

"*MMMMM!MMMNNNN!NNNNNNNN!NNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!*" said the Princess.

"... when all of a sudden Stuart spied something coming in high and fast at 9 o'clock..."

"...*NNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!*..."

"... and before you could say Yo Ho!, we were..."

"...*NNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!*..."

Annoyed, Gentleman Dave whirled around and stomped towards the princess. Yanking off the gag, he said, "Good GRIEF, girl, what IS it?"

Princess Tiernan looked at Simon Tar. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SAY..."

"...hit broadside by what looks like a hundred..."

"PIZZAS!" said Princess Tiernan.

"PIZZAS!" said Simon Tar.

"OH *NO*" cried Princess Tiernan.

"What the...?" said "Gentleman" Dave into the horrified silence that followed. And then from far away a sound was heard, a rumbling rolling growling sound. As the two men looked at one another in bafflement, Princess Tiernan rocked violently in her chair back and forth until it finally tipped her over onto the bed. Which wasn't even the strange part. The strange part was... they could swear she was laughing.

"You know," said Simon Tar. "I know this is going to sound stupid, but ... it sounds exactly like a cross between a runaway freight train and a growling stomach, multiplied by a hundred."

...To Be Continued.

Part Four